How do you cook your grits
ATTORNEY: So obviously it takes you five minutes to make breakfast, so you knew that. Do you remember what you had?
WITNESS: Eggs and grits.
ATTORNEY: Eggs and grits. I like grits, too. You like them regular, creamy or al dente?
WITNESS: Just regular, I guess.
ATTORNEY: Regular. Instant grits?
WITNESS: No self-respectin' Southerner uses instant grits. I take pride in my grits.
ATTORNEY: How could it take you five minutes to cook your grits when it takes the entire grit-eating world 20 minutes?
WITNESS: I dunno. I'm a fast cook, I guess.
ATTORNEY: I'm sorry, I was over here. I couldn't hear. Did you say you're a fast cook? That's it? Are we to believe that boiling water soaks into a grit faster in your kitchen than on any place on the face of the earth?
WITNESS: I don't know.
ATTORNEY: Perhaps the laws of physics cease to exist on your stove. Were these magic grits? Did you buy them from the same guy who sold Jack his beanstalk beans?
PROSECUTOR: Objection, Your Honor.
JUDGE: Sustained.
ATTORNEY: Are you sure about that five minutes?
WITNESS: I don't know.
JUDGE: I think you made your point.
ATTORNEY: Are you sure about that five minutes?
WITNESS: I may have been mistaken.
ATTORNEY: I got no more use for this guy.
WITNESS: Eggs and grits.
ATTORNEY: Eggs and grits. I like grits, too. You like them regular, creamy or al dente?
WITNESS: Just regular, I guess.
ATTORNEY: Regular. Instant grits?
WITNESS: No self-respectin' Southerner uses instant grits. I take pride in my grits.
ATTORNEY: How could it take you five minutes to cook your grits when it takes the entire grit-eating world 20 minutes?
WITNESS: I dunno. I'm a fast cook, I guess.
ATTORNEY: I'm sorry, I was over here. I couldn't hear. Did you say you're a fast cook? That's it? Are we to believe that boiling water soaks into a grit faster in your kitchen than on any place on the face of the earth?
WITNESS: I don't know.
ATTORNEY: Perhaps the laws of physics cease to exist on your stove. Were these magic grits? Did you buy them from the same guy who sold Jack his beanstalk beans?
PROSECUTOR: Objection, Your Honor.
JUDGE: Sustained.
ATTORNEY: Are you sure about that five minutes?
WITNESS: I don't know.
JUDGE: I think you made your point.
ATTORNEY: Are you sure about that five minutes?
WITNESS: I may have been mistaken.
ATTORNEY: I got no more use for this guy.